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“I have learned from my patients and
their families a surprising truth about dying:
this stage of life holds remarkable
possibilities. Despite the arduous nature of the
experience, when people are relatively comfortable and
know that they are not going to be abandoned, they
frequently find ways to strengthen the bonds with people
they love and to create moments of profound meaning in
their final passage.”
Ira Byock, MD
As loved ones near the end of life,
there’s no more important task than helping them to see
value in the life they have lived and the relationships
they have made. Hospice has established five markers of
relationship completion. These markers are the things we
need to say to one another:
I forgive you.
Forgive me.
Thank you.
I love you.
And, Goodbye.
With these statements often come memories
and stories, those treasured tales that make each
individual unique. Find the courage and take the time to
speak, and meaning will find its voice. Excerpt from
Good Lives and Good Byes, Resource Guide.
How do you handle the urgent need to
find meaning for yourself in what is soon to be a
completed life? First, it helps to see this search for
meaning as an important "task" for the end of life. In a
sense, this is the valuable opportunity that dying with
some forewarning offers: you have the chance to seek and
find your own meaning. The fact that most people find
this search to be terribly important and rewarding means
that it is worth resisting the temptation to spend all
your energy on medical treatment or on relatively
unimportant tasks. It is as important to seek space and
time for spiritual concerns as it is to seek the right
treatment or therapy. Excerpt from
Gentle Endings’ adaptation of The Handbook for
Mortals, by Joanne Lynn and Joan Harrold.
Meaningful Life Resources
Send your favorite sites to
coordinator@abetterwaycoalition.org.
If you find a dead site - let us know!
American Medical Student Association,
Spirituality and end-of-life care.
Dying Well.org, Ira Byrok
The Meaning and Value of Death
Working Set of Landmarks and Developmental Taskwork
Ethical Wills, Passing on treasures of the
heart.
Geriatric Times, Spirituality in palliative
care.
Growth House, Inc., Life review and
reminiscence therapy
.
Health Progress, Spiritual care at the end-of-life.
How to Create a Sanctuary for the Ill and Dying
Innovations in end-of-life care
Integrating Spirituality into Health Care Near the
End of Life
Only Connect: Promoting meaning in the lives
of patients with advanced dementia.
Kokua Mau, Answers about the end-of-life.
Leaving a Legacy
Music Thanatology Association International,
What is music thanatology?
Norris Cotton Cancer Center, Finding meaning.
.
Spiritual Care at the End of Life, What is it
and who does it?
Supportive Care of the Dying, Complimentary
therapies (scroll down).
Parkridge Center Bulletin, Spirituality in
hospice.
.
Parting, A Handbook for Spiritual Care Near the End
of Life
Public Broadcasting Station, Religion and
ethics, ethical wills.
The Canadian Journal of Psychiatry,
Psychotherapeutic Interventions at the End of Life: A
Focus on Meaning and Spirituality.
The Gerontologist, A Commentary, hospital
experience and meaning at the end of life.
The Sound of Therapy, A story and photo
gallery.
The Yale Journal for Humanities in Medicine,
Reconciliation at the end-of-life.
Values History Questionnaire
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